Fools Gold

In my post A Mid Summer Walk I posted a couple pictures of maple leaves wearing their bright yellow and orange autumn colors, I had been surprised by their brightness and vivacity. Now, a couple of weeks later, I walked that same path only to find the leaves dangling in the same position without any changes  in their forms or coloring, that surprised me even more, I expected them to have fallen or changed to a darker tone, so I took a closer look and touched their stems only to realize that they were fake. I had been fooled.

Someone had played a practical joke on us, nature lovers. They had strategically place those leaves in such a way as to draw attention in their direction. I wonder how many people actually stopped to admire this out of place scenery in the mist of summer. How many took pictures, and how many talked about it? How many noticed they were fake? I really have to wonder about my attention to detail...

Amazing how easily we/I can be fool. Now, revisiting the pictures I took a couple of weeks ago I see the unnatural way in which they have been placed, instead of its original beauty I see the staging and the twisted wiring, this unique moment in time has faded and lost its authenticity. I can only hold on to the memory of my first reaction in sighting the unusual display of the perfect autumn leaf in mid-summer. 

Meet the neighbours

Moving to a new community can be a bit uneasy. It has been a little over two years  since we moved to the country side in a village called Morin-Heights. Making friends has been a slow process because not everyone is so eager to welcome you into their group. The first year we arrived I still had my job in the city; so between work, traveling time and my usual household occupations I did not have much time to reach out to make new friends.

However, because of our dogs we were able to meet some of our neighbors and after posting an ad at the village store, we found this great lady who not only loves dogs but is turning out to be a good friend as well.

The first year flew by, we were so busy with getting settled and other stuff that I never really had time to feel lonely. But, in the second year I lost my job, my first thought was: great I will be able to do all the things I love, and I did, and still do. However, I am a people person and I like socializing, I suddenly came to the realization that I did not know that many people in my area, every time I wanted to see my friends or do an activity I would have to drive over an hour to get there and drive back home afterwards and I would have to organize something for the dogs if I was to be gone for more than 6 hours.

It is always a bit scary to fit in a new place and try to make new friends. Most of us have gathered friendships over our life time and are not always that open to make space for new ones. However, when you move far away from you friends and family, somehow you have to start reaching out and build a new network of friendships. Otherwise, it can get very lonely. 

Fortunately, every year our dog sitter and a bunch of her neighbors get together and throw this summer bash, this year was our second year attending and we met more wonderful people. The funny thing about this gathering is that the one thing everyone has in common is living in the same village. Some have been living all year around while others are only doing the part time thing, weekends and vacations. They all have different backgrounds and come from different places. Not too many are born here. It is a bit strange at first, most of us know a couple people and somehow we gather in little groups and find a click that resembles us.

During the evening I gravitated towards a couple of ladies that share some of the same interests, it is amazing how easily you can connect with people when you find a common ground. When we got to talk about art we just couldn't stop, as it turned out we like to paint and draw, we shared our personal approach to attacking a blank canvas, talked about different classes we took and how we benefited from them. They told me about some local artist's association that I should join, and we talked about the local book club that never has any space open for new members and that we should start our own and invite all the people on the other club's waiting list.



I still miss the city from time to time, especially the revolving doors we use to have when the kids were home. There was always something happening, friends and family coming in and out. I thrived with it all, the array of services available, courses, activities, almost everything was walking distance. Very different in the country side, you need your car for pretty much everything and there are less choices around.

However, this place and time has allowed me to take hold of my life, I have come to realize that you don't have to be busy all the time, that taking it easy and smelling all the different aromas the country air has to offer can be very invigorating. Also, it gave me time to work on some personal projects, and time to realize how much I enjoy writing.

For this new year, I feel ready to meet more neighbors and open my heart to new friendships.

Mid summer walk

I am going to borrow part of a phrase I read in a book called The Book of Ruth by Jane Hamilton, it is only August and the trees are doing a dress rehearsal before autumn gets here.

I was shocked to see these colors at this time. Here they were just hanging around screaming for attention with their bright yellow and orange dresses. My first time around I only had my cell phone camera with me, I took the snap shot scared they wouldn't be around the next day.



You can't be fooled by their colors they have been hanging around for days now, and today I had the chance to use my camera.

I looked around everywhere to see if I could find more, but there was none to be found. Resigned, I kept on my walk hoping to find more peculiar subjects.

I took more pictures, even some with the dogs. Today I was walking four of them, or maybe they
were walking me.

One of them played a trick on me, the black and white dog is called Paco, somehow he decided that he had enough of walking and disappeared, I spent ten minutes looking for him while going back towards his home. There he was, waiting for us, quietly sitting in front of his house. Since he isn't my dog, I was near panic.

I live in an area where there are 168 kilometers of trails going through hills and over streams, a river and small water falls.  

The habitat is left intact beside the paths that are used for snowshoeing and cross country skiing. The owners of the lands have agreed to allow the town to make these trails and maintain them. This makes our area one of the largest network of trails.

The weather this past year has been harsh and lots of trees have fallen due to heavy wind and storms. Everyday this forest unravels a new scenery to behold.

Sometimes during our walk, I run into this elderly gentlemen, I think he told me he was 83 years old, he gets his fire wood from the fallen trees, I think it is a good idea to harvest the dead trees. He drives around his four Wheeler and a made shift trailer, he says this keeps him busy and out of his wife's hair. That is the secret to a long marriage, a busy husband! 

Walking around with dogs also creates opportunities to meet new people, we met some wonderful people, also dog owners,  that have become friends.



I truly appreciate this closeness with nature, it is very grounding.

FEAR

Every man, through fear, mugs his aspirations a dozen times a day. ~Brendan Francis

Fear is a strange beast, it can either propel you into action or paralyze you. I know certain faces of fear but I don't know them all, you have your fear of failing, fear of getting a bad diagnosis, fear of physical or emotional pain, fear of the unknown, fear of success, fear of death, fear of living, fear of losing someone, fear of spiders, height, and closed spaces; there might be more that I haven't mentioned but you get my drift. Fear can actually induce anxiety or panic attacks.

Personally, I relate to instant fear, the kind that you feel when threatened and even the imaginary fear one creates while wondering what if...However, I have a hard time relating to long term fear, the kind that becomes a life style. The fear that has transformed itself into phobia. How does it happen and why people stay in that state of constant fear?

I have encounter a few people living with constant fear, they are paralyze by it, and yet, they all have so much to offer the world; somehow, they seem to stay in what they perceive to be a safety bubble, a comfort zone, while limiting their options and their lives. I find this difficult to comprehend because it lacks in rationality, yet there are so many people out there living these internal fear, every day, every hour, every minute and every second of their days are consume by it.

There are only two reactions we can have when faced with fear, action or paralysis. I wonder, is it a question of wiring that will produce one of those two reactions, or is it conditioning?

I am no expert on fears beside my own personal experiences. I've always hated being afraid, and from a very young age I battled with all kinds of fears; I was determined to be fearless. I was afraid of water, bridges, darkness, spiders, thunder, height and closed spaces, somehow, I managed to conquer each one of those fears, I have learned how to swim, I have been crossing bridges without giving it a second thought, I am also able to be at ease in darkness, spiders have become ok in my book because they trap bugs, as for the fear of thunder it didn't belong to me it was passed on by my grandmother, she was terrified of it and used to wake me up at night to keep her company waiting for the storm to pass, the fear of closed spaces stemmed from being locked in a restaurant bathroom for over an hour when I was four, I am happy to say that I can manage that one as well. What about height? Well, I no longer qualify it as a fear, it is mainly uncomfortable to be on a ledge looking down from higher up, but I do manage to go up ladders without to much discomfort, but there is something to be said about the pull you feel when looking down, technically it is not the height I fear but the luring of gravity that calls me to the experience.

In my experience, the weirdest of all the fears is the one I try anticipating, fear of something that has not happened yet, but could. A fear that belongs to the world of imagination, conceiving how I would feel if a certain negative or malefic event would happen. When I lose myself in one of those scary imaginary scenarios, I start an internal fight trying to tune out my fearsome thoughts, I try redirecting them before they over power my sense of reason, otherwise I would sink into panic mode. When in panic mode, you have to fight harder, run like hell out of the danger zone. Maybe, I fear getting stuck into panic mode, and that in itself is a strong motivation not to go there.

I endured my share of bad things but it never made sense to me to waste the rest of my life stuck in a timeline of fear for an event or situation that lasted an hour, a day, a week, months, or even years. I like freedom too much to be locked in within my own mind by fear.

I don't know why I am able to shake it off like an old rag, is it because of the uncertainties of my early childhood that I developed some fighting tools to deal with my fears, or is it curiosity that is conquering the fears?

It saddens me to know so many people are living with these limiting fears. I wish there was a miracle cure for fear, that it could be erased as easily as a pencil mark.

Lets not forget that fear can also be a useful tool, but only in small doses.

Here are some interesting quotes about FEAR:

You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith. ~Mary Manin Morrissey

Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop. ~Usman B. Asif

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. ~Marie Curie

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety. ~Henry Louis Mencken

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. ~Brendan Francis

Fear is faith that it won't work out. ~Sister Mary Tricky

To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom. ~Bertrand Russell

He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all thinking, damages his personality and makes him a landlord to a ghost. ~Lloyd Douglas

Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile... initially scared me to death. ~Betty Bender

The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid. ~Lady Bird Johnson



I look forward to your comments.